Empty Nest Syndrome!

As a father to young children I often think about whether men can develop certain feelings that have in the past been associated with mothers, from postnatal depression to empty nest syndrome. I have come to realise that men do generate these feelings but decide not to talk about their feelings, whether they feel embarrassed to do so, or just generally don’t have anybody to speak to. I have found myself in various situations were I have developed these feelings and wondered if it is normal as the father to feel like this. Yes, it is okay to feel like this and it isn’t embarrassing for me either.

Teddy (Edward), started nursery as I started university and I can say that I felt lost, empty and hopeless. I did not like the fact my child was away from me for more than 7 hours a day, it left me feeling guilty for leaving him alone for such a long period of time when I could be spending that time with him. His first day at nursery was very hard, leaving him as he cries and shouts for me as I leave the room, being held back by a complete stranger, my gut turned and I had never felt more guilty in my life!

I sit at home on my days off staring at a blank wall! Daytime television doesn’t cut it so I have nothing to do other that feel empty and lonely wishing for ¬†home time¬†already to give him a big kiss and squeeze and never let go! So yes, as a father I can say we do also get empty nest syndrome!

My First Post!

Wow! My first Blog post as a Millennial! Sounds a little crazy, right? The year is 2019 and I am now a parent with not only the responsibility of one child but two! I sometimes wonder if I can even care for myself let alone two children! So what shall I talk about on my first post?! Do I talk about my feelings, or my life in general or what I’m up to? I think I shall talk a little bit about how I feel as a whole. I will start off with how I am feeling now and how I got to this point. So, I feel lonely, I feel as if I am fighting the world alone with no one to talk to and just by sitting here typing this I feel like a weight has been lifted a little because I don’t have to bottle things up anymore, I can just come here. This time exactly two years ago I was at rock bottom, an empty pit, just myself putting on a brave face for the world when inside I was so depressed I contemplated suicide. Around this time, I was working in a bakery when I was informed that a close friend from my circle of friends had just done that exact thing I was thinking of. This was not only a horrible time for me but also a moment of time when I knew I had to do something with how I feel and what I am doing. I have almost come out of the mindset of depression but it still lingers in the back of my mind and I doubt it will even go away! I have also been thinking that I need to help other people, especially young people which is why I have joined university in hopes to have a role in the welfare of young adults who in this day and age, need it! I am half way through my first year and even though it is challenging, I can see it becoming very rewarding in the future! So there we have it, short and sweet, abrupt ending, my first post!

Welcome!

Hello! I am Stephen, a father of two young boys, Alfie and Edward. I am a 26 year old with new hobby of writing down my thoughts and ideas hopefully not too boring or formal. This website is going to be my place of isolation from the world and I can hopefully share some memories and stories on here for my future self or maybe visitors who may find my stories a little interesting. But for now, this is for me to come and ramble and get away from everyday life.